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I...

[ Beaky caws softly from her perch on the sculpture. It’s a strangely comforting sound, and Alex just feels his shoulders slump. ]

Inspiring. Inspiring sounds...yeah, okay.

[She turns her head just slightly to look sidelong at Beaky, and gives her a small smile.] Okay.

[She takes a deep breath, though this time she doesn't feel like she needs to count to three. She just needs to remember the feelings she impressed upon a page in ink.

Her voice is soothing and airy, well-enunciated but gentle. It sinks with weight in the appropriate spots. And of course, it brims with magic, with bardic inspiration.]

When a little drizzle becomes a storm,
We stop and take a moment to mourn.
And if at the end of the day the storm still rages,
Our only choice then is to be courageous.

And what is rain but a cloud that's too heavy?
You can't drop the weight until you're ready.
Pitter-patter go the drops as the rain falls in sheets
And you wonder, when it's over, will you ever find peace?

If you're out in the rain you're going to get wet
But I can bring you an umbrella whenever you forget.
An umbrella, a coat, or maybe even a towel
But I'd bring sunshine in a bottle if only I knew how.

Eventually, every rainstorm breaks
And the sun comes out, though your heart still aches.
You're soaked to the bone and cold in your soul
And being out in a storm will always take its toll.

You can lay in the sun and hope to dry out
Let the warmth take away some of your fear and your doubt.
Shake out your coat and wrap up in a towel
And get some rest knowing that the storm’s passed for now.

And the sun helps.
But the only way to get nice and dry
Is time.

[ There's a lot of art Alex doesn't really know about. Poetry's included in that. How to write it, recite it, really give it a soul--all of that's lost on him. But, you don't have to be a musician to find a piece of music beautiful, right?

That's the feeling here. His arms slowly drop from around Sayori, partly because it's getting tiring to keep them up and partly because he's a little lost in the words. It could be the magic...but more likely, it's just the melodic nature of Sayori's voice and how practiced she is.

It's hard to tell just what's affecting him most. Already, he's emotionally volatile and crying on and off. But there's something soothing about this, he realizes, as he lets out a deep sigh, a few tears falling as he blinks. There's the physical sensation of her hand in his hair and combined it's like the words themselves are caressing him.

To explain any of this would seem...silly, as he can't put the feeling to words (not like Sayori can, that's for sure), but his breath hitches after she's finished. After he's sure she's finished. ]

...'s beautiful. [ Feels silly to even say. How to express something that doesn't feel possible to express? ] Thank you, Sayori. I... Thank you.

[Even though this is one of the few things she thinks she's pretty good at, she still can't help but be a little nervous in the moments between the last line of the poem and Alex's response. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do. Maybe it didn't make any sense to him. Maybe it didn't help at all and she's just made a total idiot of herself.

But, blessedly, it seems that none of those things are true. Her smile becomes a little brighter as her embrace relaxes, and she pulls back enough to look down at his face. One hand lifts from his shoulder—and hesitates slightly, but the trepidation passes and she wipes the tears from one of his cheeks with a delicate sweep of her thumb.] You're my friend! I know there's not much I can do about... [A slight tilt of her head in the direction that her eyes avert, the corners of her expression becoming more somber.] ...all the bad stuff inside your head.

But I'm here for you. And I've always got a poem if you need one, okay? Promise.

[ It's convenient, that Sayori's not looking at him completely, because partly as she sweeps a tear away, partly because of what she says...Alex finds himself glancing off to the side too, now that they're able to look at each other.

His eyes fall on the sculpture that Beaky still rests atop of. It keeps his gaze, and he swallows. ]

I... Yeah, okay. Thanks, you- ...You're a good friend.

[A good friend.

She turns her head a little, unable to resist the urge to follow Alex's gaze to the sculpture. She looks to Beaky, too, the look in her eyes searching.

Sans said that was just the kind of person she was, too. It would be nice to believe that. That this is just who she is, and not a part of the act she's always put on so that no one would waste their time worrying about her. It feels natural—but so does the act, most of the time.

Then again, maybe delineation is a pointless endeavor when it's all just programming. It's all part of the file that the Director lifted from that digital world in the end.

She turns back to Alex with a wide smile and helps herself to the spot on the bed next to him.] Ehehe~ I'm just me. And the me that I am cares about you, so I'll always do my best for you!

[Is that enough to make her a good friend? Who knows. But she'll do her best anyway.]

[ Whatever's swimming through Sayori's head, Alex is oblivious to it. But, if he weren't, if he was privilege to her thoughts through an Oath or a feeling or something of the sort, he'd tell her she's a better person than she gives herself credit for. That the sadness, the pain, all of that's real. But so's the love. There's no way it can't be.

She's so much more than programming. ]

No just about it. [ Glancing, turning his head back from the sculpture despite it pulling his eyes. Just a moment. She's the type of person to understand. ] ...Not everyone would be this understanding. Not everyone would be this... [ There's no word to encompass it all, and- ] ...I'm really glad I met you.

[The way he watches the sculpture isn't lost on her, but she's not sure if it's the right time to ask. She just peeks at Beaky like the familiar might give her the answer, at least until her eyes are drawn to Alex in turn as he speaks.

Her hand comes to her chest to rest over her heart like that might alleviate the way it squeezes at Alex's words. It's not like it's the first nice thing he's ever said to her, but there's something raw and vulnerable still inside of her, torn open by Wash's dishonesty, by Ogata's crime, by Mista's words of love.

She blinks to clear the sting from her eyes and finds a few tears, and she laughs in bashful surprise as the other hand comes up to wipe them away.] Geez, s-sorry. [Her next breath results in a small sniffle, and then she leans over to bump her shoulder affectionately against his.] I just— y'know.

[On an Earth where he lived to see her world programmed into existence, would he feel the same way? Would her story still mean something to him if they hadn't met here?]

I'm glad I met you too. It turned out to be lucky I couldn't fall asleep that night, huh?

[Lucky they were both kept awake at camp. Lucky they're here at this place and time, a dead boy and a digital girl, meeting only by the serendipity of Lucretia's outstretched hand.]

[ While Sayori looks at her, Beaky simply tilts her head. She has no answers, no hidden solution to this riddle. Alex is a simple boy, though. It's not hard to puzzle out, if given enough pieces.

Funny, Sayori's mindful of her tears and here Alex had been just about bawling. It seems only her addressing her own crying clues him in, and he ducks away to rub his cheeks with a sleeve. The more he time spends here, the more he's worrying less about the pang of embarrassment that comes with...what, showing vulnerability? Something like that. He can't analyze that right now--Sayori's nudging him, which is actually funny, given their height difference.

It'd be worse if he weren't slouching. ]

Lucky. [ There's something light under those words. Something accepting. Mista'd asked him about fate. Alex still hates even the thought of it. It sets pins to his skin and fills his veins with fire. But luck... Luck, he thinks he might be able to coexist with that. ] Yeah, sure is, isn't it? Hip hip hooray for insomnia.

[This is just the life she is resigned to by surrounding herself with tall friends. She doesn't mind, anyway. Tall friends give good hugs.

It's not so much the vulnerability that she tries to avoid by wiping her tears (though there is still the instinctual reaction to shy away from that.) She just doesn't want to bring her own feelings into this too much when Alex is the one having such a hard time. He doesn't need to be worrying about all the stuff swimming around inside of her, not right now.

Man, she should have brought tissues. Maybe she should put together a friend emergency kit.

She tilts her head a little as she looks back at him, once she's reasonably sure her eyes aren't going to start leaking again. Her fingers lace together as they come to rest by her knees.] You know, you can always message me if you're ever having trouble sleeping and wanna talk. I'm...

[It feels silly to hesitate in saying this, because it's not like he doesn't know, but.] I'm still up late a lot too so I don't mind.

[ The way she says that makes him wonder, not for the first time, if the reason she was awake that night... If it was the same reason he was. The paralyzing fear and pain, the wells of sadness. It's an idle thought, because he all but knows the answer. Wonderland told him that.

...He wonders how much Sayori wishes she'd said it, instead. ]

Yeah, I... I know. [ The half-smile on his face tries its best to be reassuring. ] 'ppreciate it, you know? I'll... I don't wanna...drop all this shit on you, but I- ...if I need to, I'll reach out.

[ Sorry. Sorry he didn't before. ...Old habits, they're hard to break. ]

[In retrospect, it's easy to say that if she could go back and do it over, if she could tell him in her own words rather than let it be written at the end of a rope, she would. But if she didn't know what she knows now, then...

Well. It doesn't matter anymore, does it?

He doesn't give her the most committed answer, but she's not mad. She understands not wanting to be a burden, and she can do her best to ease that feeling, but she can't force him not to believe it. Her smile grows a little brighter, as if trying to encourage his.] Hey. If you ever need to talk about it, we can do that, but— you know, if you just need a fun distraction instead, I'm really good at those too!

[Sometimes you need to put words to the feeling, of course. Process it, understand it, and accept it—but sometimes it's a spiral, and the best thing to do to get past it is something else entirely.]

[ There's a moment of pause and Alex then clarifies: ]

To spend some time just...trying to enjoy life?

[ Another small glance at the sculpture. He sighs, but it's with a sort of tired acceptance. ]

I've been told I need to do that more, so...yeah. That sounds pretty damn nice.

[A resolute nod, and Sayori lifts a fist to clench it with determination.] Yeah, exactly!

[...and then, the burst of goofy energy subsides again, though the smile remains. If it were someone who didn't know her as well, the touch of uncertainty in it would probably go unnoticed; unconsciously, her head bows slightly to hide the vulnerability of the expression.] Sometimes...

[She swallows. Her tongue sticks in her mouth, but— but Alex is trying to be honest with her. If it will help him to feel less alone with this, she'll say it.] ...sometimes that's the only thing that makes me feel better. When stuff is really hard like that. And you deserve to enjoy life! So I'm happy to do it, ehehe.

[ A hard smile settles on his mouth and Alex's shoulders slump a little. This must be so hard for her to say. After everything he'd seen... This must be almost impossible. Sayori's so strong. Much...much stronger than he feels he could ever be.

He breathes out a sigh. ] I could never just do it. Just...let myself relax. If I was distracted, it- it meant something bad could happen. It meant it'd break me. And...for awhile that was...better, but then, when...I finally let my guard down...

[ A shot to the head. Alex slowly raises a hand to the almost imperceptible indent above his right eyebrow, a mark of his death and resurrection. ]

...But...it's not always like that. Right? It's not... just 'cause it happened when I didn't think it would. That doesn't...mean I can't ever just...live. Right?

[ More than anything, he wishes he could repeat Clear's easy reassurances back and have that be the end of it, but what he's asking for is reassurance. Confirmation. ]

[She catches the motion of his hand out of the corner of her eye, turns her face and watches as he touches...something on his own face that she can't quite see now, beneath his fingers like that.

It's a familiar motion. Her own hand finds the raised ridges of scar tissue on her neck in sympathy.

And then she reaches out to take Alex's hand, to try and gently coax it away from his injury and hold it between her own. There's protective conviction in her voice—not necessarily a rare feeling for Sayori, but not one that's often expressed.

After all that shit we've been through, your you-ness is like, ten thousand bucks. Hopefully it's still worth at least that much.] Right! Sometimes bad stuff happens but it's not like it is at home, I promise. Nothing is coming after you like that.

And I definitely won't let anyone hurt you while we're hanging out so don't worry about that either! [You know, should he choose to take her up on this insomnia distraction offer.]

[ Some might find that funny, that Sayori's offered her services of protection, but those people are the sort that would underestimate her. All the things she's accomplished here, that's something to hold dear.

He realizes what he's doing when Sayori takes his hand, away from what used to be a fatal wound. His fatal wound in two different circumstances. Oh, that makes sense. ]

...I believe you. It's...a lot easier, actually, when it's- you know...a person. Just...a guy. [ Alex breathes out and nods, slowly. ]

[Gently, she squeezes his hand between hers and gives a small nod.] Yeah, he's not all-powerful or anything. And I don't think he's gonna do anything like that again.

[It's unclear where her confidence in this comes from just from that, but there are layers. She believes that Ogata can do better, or at least that he was being honest about how inconvenient it was. And she believes in the ability of the other Reclaimers to stop him if he does make a bad choice again.]

[ A small, half-smile. ]

Me neither. It's... I dunno, he's more interested in asking me stuff nowadays than anything. [ Ogata's a puzzle with no answer. That's... Well, it's interesting, to say the least. ] And...you know, soaking everyone with a water gun, but.

[There are far worse things he could be doing, at least. Like murder.

She could let go of Alex's hand now, but seeing as she's already holding it and it's sort of comforting to hold on to something, she doesn't. Her thumb taps idly against the side of his hand as she thinks this over, her conversation with Ogata still weighing on her strangely, like trying to carry something heavier at one end than the other.] Y'know, he taught me how to waltz the first time we met. He was kinda grumpy but I had no idea it was...

[It's just that no one has ever called me their friend before.

A small shrug as she gives up on trying to describe Ogata's deal eloquently.] Like that.

[ If Alex is the only murder, that'll be fine, he can think.

Alex's eyebrows furrow, a little. ] He...taught you how to waltz? [ He can't picture that. Ogata? It seems too gentle, too soft. And yet... ] I just thought he was a...jerk who liked to troll people. I'm... I don't know. I don't know what to think of 'im.

[As Alex says a jerk who liked to troll people, Sayori averts her gaze with a too-innocent veneer in her eyes. She doesn't say it out loud, but it's a very clear "he's definitely that too."

Anyway.] ...he showed me the poem he wrote. And...

[The troubled press of her lips sobers her expression.] He said some personal stuff I shouldn't really say. But I think he's lonely. Like— really lonely, and it seems like it's been that way forever? And... [Man, she really used up all her words on that poem.] Y'know. Being alone like that can really mess you up.

[ There's a twinge in Alex's gut. He sits with that, lonely. It doesn't make him regret what he'd said, any more than he regrets how he acted at all with the Raven Queen's eye. But it puts some things in perspective.

And truly, Alex hates that eye-opening feeling. But he wouldn't be him, if he ignored it. ]

You know. You... You're probably on to something there, I ...I think he killed me for calling him needy. [ There's more to it, of course, the confrontation, the lack of fear. Ogata was just a guy, something Alex could do something about. What was he to be afraid of? He stumbles over that, a little withdrawn. ] Don't think the fucker even realizes how much he contacts me.

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