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[In retrospect, it's easy to say that if she could go back and do it over, if she could tell him in her own words rather than let it be written at the end of a rope, she would. But if she didn't know what she knows now, then...

Well. It doesn't matter anymore, does it?

He doesn't give her the most committed answer, but she's not mad. She understands not wanting to be a burden, and she can do her best to ease that feeling, but she can't force him not to believe it. Her smile grows a little brighter, as if trying to encourage his.] Hey. If you ever need to talk about it, we can do that, but— you know, if you just need a fun distraction instead, I'm really good at those too!

[Sometimes you need to put words to the feeling, of course. Process it, understand it, and accept it—but sometimes it's a spiral, and the best thing to do to get past it is something else entirely.]

[ There's a moment of pause and Alex then clarifies: ]

To spend some time just...trying to enjoy life?

[ Another small glance at the sculpture. He sighs, but it's with a sort of tired acceptance. ]

I've been told I need to do that more, so...yeah. That sounds pretty damn nice.

[A resolute nod, and Sayori lifts a fist to clench it with determination.] Yeah, exactly!

[...and then, the burst of goofy energy subsides again, though the smile remains. If it were someone who didn't know her as well, the touch of uncertainty in it would probably go unnoticed; unconsciously, her head bows slightly to hide the vulnerability of the expression.] Sometimes...

[She swallows. Her tongue sticks in her mouth, but— but Alex is trying to be honest with her. If it will help him to feel less alone with this, she'll say it.] ...sometimes that's the only thing that makes me feel better. When stuff is really hard like that. And you deserve to enjoy life! So I'm happy to do it, ehehe.

[ A hard smile settles on his mouth and Alex's shoulders slump a little. This must be so hard for her to say. After everything he'd seen... This must be almost impossible. Sayori's so strong. Much...much stronger than he feels he could ever be.

He breathes out a sigh. ] I could never just do it. Just...let myself relax. If I was distracted, it- it meant something bad could happen. It meant it'd break me. And...for awhile that was...better, but then, when...I finally let my guard down...

[ A shot to the head. Alex slowly raises a hand to the almost imperceptible indent above his right eyebrow, a mark of his death and resurrection. ]

...But...it's not always like that. Right? It's not... just 'cause it happened when I didn't think it would. That doesn't...mean I can't ever just...live. Right?

[ More than anything, he wishes he could repeat Clear's easy reassurances back and have that be the end of it, but what he's asking for is reassurance. Confirmation. ]

[She catches the motion of his hand out of the corner of her eye, turns her face and watches as he touches...something on his own face that she can't quite see now, beneath his fingers like that.

It's a familiar motion. Her own hand finds the raised ridges of scar tissue on her neck in sympathy.

And then she reaches out to take Alex's hand, to try and gently coax it away from his injury and hold it between her own. There's protective conviction in her voice—not necessarily a rare feeling for Sayori, but not one that's often expressed.

After all that shit we've been through, your you-ness is like, ten thousand bucks. Hopefully it's still worth at least that much.] Right! Sometimes bad stuff happens but it's not like it is at home, I promise. Nothing is coming after you like that.

And I definitely won't let anyone hurt you while we're hanging out so don't worry about that either! [You know, should he choose to take her up on this insomnia distraction offer.]

[ Some might find that funny, that Sayori's offered her services of protection, but those people are the sort that would underestimate her. All the things she's accomplished here, that's something to hold dear.

He realizes what he's doing when Sayori takes his hand, away from what used to be a fatal wound. His fatal wound in two different circumstances. Oh, that makes sense. ]

...I believe you. It's...a lot easier, actually, when it's- you know...a person. Just...a guy. [ Alex breathes out and nods, slowly. ]

[Gently, she squeezes his hand between hers and gives a small nod.] Yeah, he's not all-powerful or anything. And I don't think he's gonna do anything like that again.

[It's unclear where her confidence in this comes from just from that, but there are layers. She believes that Ogata can do better, or at least that he was being honest about how inconvenient it was. And she believes in the ability of the other Reclaimers to stop him if he does make a bad choice again.]

[ A small, half-smile. ]

Me neither. It's... I dunno, he's more interested in asking me stuff nowadays than anything. [ Ogata's a puzzle with no answer. That's... Well, it's interesting, to say the least. ] And...you know, soaking everyone with a water gun, but.

[There are far worse things he could be doing, at least. Like murder.

She could let go of Alex's hand now, but seeing as she's already holding it and it's sort of comforting to hold on to something, she doesn't. Her thumb taps idly against the side of his hand as she thinks this over, her conversation with Ogata still weighing on her strangely, like trying to carry something heavier at one end than the other.] Y'know, he taught me how to waltz the first time we met. He was kinda grumpy but I had no idea it was...

[It's just that no one has ever called me their friend before.

A small shrug as she gives up on trying to describe Ogata's deal eloquently.] Like that.

[ If Alex is the only murder, that'll be fine, he can think.

Alex's eyebrows furrow, a little. ] He...taught you how to waltz? [ He can't picture that. Ogata? It seems too gentle, too soft. And yet... ] I just thought he was a...jerk who liked to troll people. I'm... I don't know. I don't know what to think of 'im.

[As Alex says a jerk who liked to troll people, Sayori averts her gaze with a too-innocent veneer in her eyes. She doesn't say it out loud, but it's a very clear "he's definitely that too."

Anyway.] ...he showed me the poem he wrote. And...

[The troubled press of her lips sobers her expression.] He said some personal stuff I shouldn't really say. But I think he's lonely. Like— really lonely, and it seems like it's been that way forever? And... [Man, she really used up all her words on that poem.] Y'know. Being alone like that can really mess you up.

[ There's a twinge in Alex's gut. He sits with that, lonely. It doesn't make him regret what he'd said, any more than he regrets how he acted at all with the Raven Queen's eye. But it puts some things in perspective.

And truly, Alex hates that eye-opening feeling. But he wouldn't be him, if he ignored it. ]

You know. You... You're probably on to something there, I ...I think he killed me for calling him needy. [ There's more to it, of course, the confrontation, the lack of fear. Ogata was just a guy, something Alex could do something about. What was he to be afraid of? He stumbles over that, a little withdrawn. ] Don't think the fucker even realizes how much he contacts me.

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