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[ There's...a lot going on here. Another member of their family? Who doesn't...remember them? Is it a death penalty? Something to do with their talk of magic? What is it-

Alex puts a hold on his bursting curiosity; this isn't what Lion needs, not more questions. What else is- ]

How's being upset about losing everything make you an awful person? [ He runs a hand over the front of his spiky hair- oh, that's...getting longer, isn't it? Shaggier-- and his lips curl inwards, 'til he has the lower one in his teeth. ] Would I tell...Maya, or Mia, they couldn't miss anyone else? No...friends, other loved ones? What kind of fucking dick would do that?

[ He simply meets Lion's gaze. ] I...don't let myself miss anything but Clear. 'Cause... 'Cause everyone else was...gone before that, and...missing my parents? ...I can't go back there. If I try, I'll just... I'll die, for good. ...But it doesn't mean knowing that doesn't...hurt, so much. I get...how much it could hurt, to hold that in.

[ A helpless little shrug, sad. ]

Just 'cause you got someone with you off the sinking ship...doesn't mean you're not still freezing in the fucking lifeboat. You know?

[ The longer he talks, the deeper that pressure in their chest grows. Because there's- there's so much context he doesn't know, little things and details they haven't told anyone for fear of making it true again, or for adding too much of their pain to the shoulders of others. So much of it matches up with what he's saying, too, in an awful twist of irony. Would he still say that if he knew? Probably. But they can't know for sure without spelling out every detail, and that hurts all the more.

For a moment, they are so viscerally thankful that he isn't a redhead. Not that it matters- Battler's already here, after all. But they don't need the weight of more unintentional comparisons on their sanity right now. ]

I don't...

[ Don't what? There's too many ways to finish that sentence. Keep insisting that it's different, that they're different, that they've always had to put others first so why would that change now, of all times? Or say that they've known people who would say exactly that - that they shouldn't miss anyone else because they already have it so much better, that it's ungrateful to dwell on what they've lost. That even now they can't let themself grieve. ]

I don't think I can go home, either.

[ What finally comes out is this. A startled, almost accidental truth, filler words to buy time to let them figure out what else to say. ]

For a lot of reasons. Not- not all of them make sense, and I knew what they were before any of this ever happened, so I- I shouldn't be tearing it open all over again just to- [ But they haven't let themself heal in the first place, have they? It's not hard to see that. ] Everyone else is grieving too. Wouldn't that make it worse?

[ Belatedly, they realise that this is probably what a panic attack feels like. ]

[ Alex, the boy who's been anxious for most of his teenage life, who lives life terrified of the world, sees something of himself reflected in Lion. At least enough to understand...they're not having a good time right now.

He knows what a panic attack looks like.

Though he's been firm and a little insistent, his voice drops to something softer and more gentle than you'd think he could wring out of himself, what with his rat-like gravely voice. ]

Hey. [ He shakes his head. ] Nah. I think...we're all hurtin'. And at least it's nice to have someone there...who can know what you're feeling.

[ A moment- ]

I'm sorry you can't go home. That really sucks, Lion. I'm really, really sorry.

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now seems like a good time to slap that big ol' umineko spoiler tag on

TWO MONTHS LATER.