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[ It's convenient, that Sayori's not looking at him completely, because partly as she sweeps a tear away, partly because of what she says...Alex finds himself glancing off to the side too, now that they're able to look at each other.

His eyes fall on the sculpture that Beaky still rests atop of. It keeps his gaze, and he swallows. ]

I... Yeah, okay. Thanks, you- ...You're a good friend.

[ An audible exhale gives Alex a moment to think of what to say next. ]

You still think that? After all the shit you've seen, here? 'Cause, I can tell you... Anger, guilt, joy, sadness, love... They're far from made up. And maybe if you could try and accept that...you'd start to understand the rest of us, a little better.

[ Is he trying to help Ogata? Alex isn't sure. He remembers Mista's sure conviction, I'm gonna kill him. He remembers his own panic. Who is he doing this for, Ogata? Mista? His friends? Himself?

Maybe it's some sort of mix. Because Alex can't untangle it all, and because in that moment, he won't even try to. ]

[Michael swallows, his eyes suspiciously shiny.]

Thank you. That's - thank you.

[Oh, no. Let's just get on with this before he does something terribly embarrassing. The Oath between him and Eleanor hadn't been especially formal - nothing between the two of them is. But for all the forgiveness and trust in the air, this is not the same kind of easy connection. This still feels fragile.]

I promise it won't. The next time you call me for help, I'll be there.

["I promise" is an ironclad oath, for a Kantian. Michael's not one, in the end, but he's picked up at least that much from Chidi.

The Oath that blooms is a tentative one, though a number of less cautious emotions vibrate through it immediately after - disbelieving pride at his continued success in all this Paladin stuff, a continued dull ache of guilt, the determinations to see this through. Michael's not quite so new to mental communication as he is to Oaths. It only takes him a second or two to wall those feelings off, leaving only the faint impression that he's sort of tired. Get used to that one; he's back to not sleeping every single night!]

[ It's not. It's far from stupid, it's the sweetest thing Mista could've possibly said. In a moment of sudden, clarity, Alex swallows heavily and shuts his eyes tight. Jesus, he's just a bundle of joy here, isn't he? Mista's the one out here literally saying he's gonna kill a guy, and Alex is the depressing one?

He's grinding his teeth without realizing it. Poor habits. ]

H-- 'm so... You're one helluva guy, Mist, I- ...thank you. [ Another swallow, audible and thick. ] Really. Th-- ...dunno what I did to...get a friend like you.

[There's a snort, faint and unamused.]

I can think of a couple things. I like makin' friends with heroes, it seems like.

[Stupid dumb Alex. No matter how many times you tell him, he's never gonna get it, is he. Well, that's okay.]

Sayori's gonna come hug you in a little bit.

[A good friend.

She turns her head a little, unable to resist the urge to follow Alex's gaze to the sculpture. She looks to Beaky, too, the look in her eyes searching.

Sans said that was just the kind of person she was, too. It would be nice to believe that. That this is just who she is, and not a part of the act she's always put on so that no one would waste their time worrying about her. It feels natural—but so does the act, most of the time.

Then again, maybe delineation is a pointless endeavor when it's all just programming. It's all part of the file that the Director lifted from that digital world in the end.

She turns back to Alex with a wide smile and helps herself to the spot on the bed next to him.] Ehehe~ I'm just me. And the me that I am cares about you, so I'll always do my best for you!

[Is that enough to make her a good friend? Who knows. But she'll do her best anyway.]

[Ah, there it is. The rejection. He can feel Yuusaku breathing down his neck, blood rushing in his ears. He really has seen so many things here that don't fit.

They don't fit and he can't just get rid of them the way he has before. He can't excise them from existence with a bullet or a knife so he can slot things back into place. He can't just do that and move along to somewhere else, to some other temporary niche to slot into. He's not sure if he even really wants to, this time.

But if he has to just tolerate these inconsistencies, he has to think about them. To consider them. To consider that, maybe they aren't. Maybe Alex is right. And he's wrong. And he shouldn't exist. His hands reflexively go through the motions of loading his rifle, having done it so many times they know exactly where the gun would slot into his hands. His finger twitching at the trigger-

When he speaks, there's a strain in his voice.]

I can't do that.

[ This truly is a deep contrast between his previous Oath. Not bad, just so different, isn't it? Deliberate, but awkward. Alex finds in a way he likes it. A slow wave of it, a presence. The guilt's familiar, pride foreign. Determination inspiring.

All these things go on Alex's mental whiteboard hallway, on the side opposite Will's. An angel and a demon, isn't that something? Alex breathes it in, and though he works to funnel his emotions, the way to let the connection lay gentle and his emotions not...just entirely overwhelm. It's important he get some of those across, however.

Real trust. There's nothing put on or fake in what Alex is saying. Nothing forced. It just is. His own exhaustion, it blankets everything in waves, amplified from the last few days. Something grateful. ]

Well... That's that, then, huh?

[ He really won't ever get it, will he? Alex sputters in a moment of embarrassed shock. ]

He- hero- c- c'mon, man, tha- that's going a lil' [ clears his throat, dragging his words, half-mumbling- ] neither 'a you have to, you know, s- do any...of that.

[ Whatever's swimming through Sayori's head, Alex is oblivious to it. But, if he weren't, if he was privilege to her thoughts through an Oath or a feeling or something of the sort, he'd tell her she's a better person than she gives herself credit for. That the sadness, the pain, all of that's real. But so's the love. There's no way it can't be.

She's so much more than programming. ]

No just about it. [ Glancing, turning his head back from the sculpture despite it pulling his eyes. Just a moment. She's the type of person to understand. ] ...Not everyone would be this understanding. Not everyone would be this... [ There's no word to encompass it all, and- ] ...I'm really glad I met you.

[The way he watches the sculpture isn't lost on her, but she's not sure if it's the right time to ask. She just peeks at Beaky like the familiar might give her the answer, at least until her eyes are drawn to Alex in turn as he speaks.

Her hand comes to her chest to rest over her heart like that might alleviate the way it squeezes at Alex's words. It's not like it's the first nice thing he's ever said to her, but there's something raw and vulnerable still inside of her, torn open by Wash's dishonesty, by Ogata's crime, by Mista's words of love.

She blinks to clear the sting from her eyes and finds a few tears, and she laughs in bashful surprise as the other hand comes up to wipe them away.] Geez, s-sorry. [Her next breath results in a small sniffle, and then she leans over to bump her shoulder affectionately against his.] I just— y'know.

[On an Earth where he lived to see her world programmed into existence, would he feel the same way? Would her story still mean something to him if they hadn't met here?]

I'm glad I met you too. It turned out to be lucky I couldn't fall asleep that night, huh?

[Lucky they were both kept awake at camp. Lucky they're here at this place and time, a dead boy and a digital girl, meeting only by the serendipity of Lucretia's outstretched hand.]

[ He has to proceed carefully with what he says here. Alex knows that. That kind of voice... He can't push too much. ]

You can't...? As in it's impossible for you?

[ While Sayori looks at her, Beaky simply tilts her head. She has no answers, no hidden solution to this riddle. Alex is a simple boy, though. It's not hard to puzzle out, if given enough pieces.

Funny, Sayori's mindful of her tears and here Alex had been just about bawling. It seems only her addressing her own crying clues him in, and he ducks away to rub his cheeks with a sleeve. The more he time spends here, the more he's worrying less about the pang of embarrassment that comes with...what, showing vulnerability? Something like that. He can't analyze that right now--Sayori's nudging him, which is actually funny, given their height difference.

It'd be worse if he weren't slouching. ]

Lucky. [ There's something light under those words. Something accepting. Mista'd asked him about fate. Alex still hates even the thought of it. It sets pins to his skin and fills his veins with fire. But luck... Luck, he thinks he might be able to coexist with that. ] Yeah, sure is, isn't it? Hip hip hooray for insomnia.

I've already told you.
[He doesn't feel things like other people. He was born wrong, born missing something.]

A world that really has things like that doesn't have a place for people without them, right?
[He can just hear that voice at the back of his head again, It's not right for people like that to exist!]

I guess it is.

[The bond, and that sense of trust, settles over Michael strangely, like a good winter coat that's maybe a size too big. But it feels nice. Perhaps he could grow into it - or maybe it's not the wrong size at all?

Well. He'll figure it out. For now, it's placed carefully to the side in his mind, tangible but not overwhelming. Michael smiles softly, rolling his shoulders a little.]

Well, I'm done in here tonight. Wanna head back? I'm thinking I might actually try to sleep.

[This is just the life she is resigned to by surrounding herself with tall friends. She doesn't mind, anyway. Tall friends give good hugs.

It's not so much the vulnerability that she tries to avoid by wiping her tears (though there is still the instinctual reaction to shy away from that.) She just doesn't want to bring her own feelings into this too much when Alex is the one having such a hard time. He doesn't need to be worrying about all the stuff swimming around inside of her, not right now.

Man, she should have brought tissues. Maybe she should put together a friend emergency kit.

She tilts her head a little as she looks back at him, once she's reasonably sure her eyes aren't going to start leaking again. Her fingers lace together as they come to rest by her knees.] You know, you can always message me if you're ever having trouble sleeping and wanna talk. I'm...

[It feels silly to hesitate in saying this, because it's not like he doesn't know, but.] I'm still up late a lot too so I don't mind.

[ Unwanted children. He didn't feel anything, when his mom died. Unneeded, unwanted.

There's so much Alex wishes he didn't know. It'd be a simple thing, if he didn't, to just ignore Ogata. To avoid him and never speak to him again. That's what a normal, sane person would do, right?

But, he doesn't have the luxury of ignorance. He never does, it seems. ]

Who ever told you something like that?

... My half-brother, for one. I don’t know if he understood what he was saying to me but he was just repeating back what he’s been taught, anyway.
[Yuusaku didn’t think for himself after all. He just did whatever father told him to do.

Ogata’s tired, really. Exhausted. He doesn’t know how he managed to avoid just having a complete mental breakdown, feels like he’s suffering the same fatigue he felt after wonderland. He just wants all of this to be over with. Maybe death wouldn’t be a bad way to escape all this. Except it won’t stick here, and Alex would just be mad, which would only serve as further punishment. ]

You can be personally optimistic all you want but you can’t do anything about how anyone else thinks. How society thinks.

Oh, really, you?

[ Just like that, he slips into something more casual. The Oath's a nice little...guide, just a gentle hand, pulling him along. The serious stuff is over, it says. ]

What's the occasion, fight a bear recently?

[ The way she says that makes him wonder, not for the first time, if the reason she was awake that night... If it was the same reason he was. The paralyzing fear and pain, the wells of sadness. It's an idle thought, because he all but knows the answer. Wonderland told him that.

...He wonders how much Sayori wishes she'd said it, instead. ]

Yeah, I... I know. [ The half-smile on his face tries its best to be reassuring. ] 'ppreciate it, you know? I'll... I don't wanna...drop all this shit on you, but I- ...if I need to, I'll reach out.

[ Sorry. Sorry he didn't before. ...Old habits, they're hard to break. ]

[Michael smiles, happy to slip away from topics of import. Not that their conversation was bad - that actually went well! But it's nice, after so long of feeling weird around Alex, to just sort of casually chat.]

Well, it's been a few days, I thought I might give it another shot! And Wash and I have spent a little more time together lately.

[It was never about Wash, particularly; Michael's just unnerved about the idea of being unconscious around most people.]

[ Alex opened himself a mighty huge can of worms, didn't he? Tends to be how it goes. He's faced down Death before, and- ...well. He survived for awhile. A lot longer than he thought he would.

So... This can't be more difficult than that. Right? ]

Maybe I can't. Maybe...the rest'a the world's just like that. But...there's a lot of worlds out there. Every one of them, every person... They can't all think like that.

...Hell, if I can sit here, 'nd talk with you... You know.

[Alex, you fool. Dealing with the living is usually so much more complicated and difficult than dealing with Death. You should know this by now.

It's a bit odd, he thinks, hearing Alex slightly concede that he could be right, maybe. At least partly so. Maybe that's why he tenatively probes at the matter.]

Yes. Your willingness to hold conversations with me is frankly fairly inexplicable. Almost as bad as Sayori, but she claims I'm her friend so I suppose it makes some sense.
[This is still deeply strange to him and probably should be to Alex as well??? In any case.]

I can't fathom what your reasoning is, though.

A few days... [ A laugh slips out, though it's half incredulous and defeated. ] Well, you know, baby steps.

[ Complicated, but at least it's something he can comprehend. Perhaps that's the big sticking point between the two of them. ]

I'm not gonna start speakin' for her. If she says you're her friend, then she sees you that way, though. She ain't the kind of person to jerk someone around. Sayori... She can make her own decisions. [ See!!! She was right!! ] If I could guess, it's she saw something in you that made her want to talk to you more.

[ And... ] For me, I...

[ A pause. ]

I guess I see someone worth talking to, too.

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