Alex Browning (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rockymountaindie) wrote2019-05-08 06:07 pm
rockymountaindie) wrote2019-05-08 06:07 pm
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[ An awkward kind of half smile as Alex turns away for a moment. ]
He was like... I told him about how I... [ The smile falls. ] How Ogata killed me. And...he was explaining about it, abstractly, and said he'd...you know, vow to protect me from that kind of thing...happening again.
...And then it just...happened. But...I like it. It feels nice to...have an emotional connection like that.
[ Silly. But, you know...nice. ]
So you... You became a paladin?
He was like... I told him about how I... [ The smile falls. ] How Ogata killed me. And...he was explaining about it, abstractly, and said he'd...you know, vow to protect me from that kind of thing...happening again.
...And then it just...happened. But...I like it. It feels nice to...have an emotional connection like that.
[ Silly. But, you know...nice. ]
So you... You became a paladin?
[ Each name is a twist of the knife, further and further. ]
Then- then-- then- fuck, he won't, okay? I'll make sure of it. He ain't gonna kill anyone else, I'll see to it myself.
Then- then-- then- fuck, he won't, okay? I'll make sure of it. He ain't gonna kill anyone else, I'll see to it myself.
[ There's no verbal response. Alex just shakes his head with a loud, rough sniffle, not looking at Sayori.
No. It could never work. To not think about it would mean to not feel guilty, every second of every day. Even with part of his very soul removed, the guilt festered, just...differently.
Alex will always carry the guilt with him. Always. ]
No. It could never work. To not think about it would mean to not feel guilty, every second of every day. Even with part of his very soul removed, the guilt festered, just...differently.
Alex will always carry the guilt with him. Always. ]
Uh, yeah. I thought it would be useful.
[It was a lot more significant to him than that, really, but use probably is the root of it. Paladins are good at the things Michael wants to be good at.
He's grateful for the subject change, at least, because the rest of that felt like a brush-off. Well, that's fine. Will will look after him well enough.]
I picked up that shield spell, too. Practiced with it in the dojo some, it works pretty well.
[It was a lot more significant to him than that, really, but use probably is the root of it. Paladins are good at the things Michael wants to be good at.
He's grateful for the subject change, at least, because the rest of that felt like a brush-off. Well, that's fine. Will will look after him well enough.]
I picked up that shield spell, too. Practiced with it in the dojo some, it works pretty well.
[ At some point when Alex returns to his room, he will find a small pink box addressed to him at his door. Inside the box is a dark chocolate cupcake with vanilla bean frosting. It looks as picturesque as you'd find at a real bakery, and is also just plain delicious.
Along with the cupcake there is a small note: "Thanks for showing me where the comics were. - Natsuki" ]
Along with the cupcake there is a small note: "Thanks for showing me where the comics were. - Natsuki" ]
[Yeah. That's what she thought. Even when she's able to find distractions from her own darkness, it always creeps back in again the moment there's space in her mind.
She wishes she could have been there for him earlier.
She doesn't ask permission out loud this time, but the motion of her hand towards his waist is tentative, her offer of a hug silent.]
She wishes she could have been there for him earlier.
She doesn't ask permission out loud this time, but the motion of her hand towards his waist is tentative, her offer of a hug silent.]
[ Completely unaware of what it looks like, Alex finds himself...smiling again, at the thought of it. ]
You don't gotta tell me twice, I'm... I'm learning how to do cleric stuff. I'm pretty into trying to protect other people too. I...think it fits you.
You don't gotta tell me twice, I'm... I'm learning how to do cleric stuff. I'm pretty into trying to protect other people too. I...think it fits you.
[ Since Natsuki had told him to expect this, he's not entirely surprised at the cupcake gift. Still, he'd thought she'd come find him and present it in person, which was a foolish idea in retrospect, so a gift at his door leaves him pleasantly baffled.
She really was right, though. It tastes and looks amazing.
...He'll have to remember to thank her, later. Not with his own food. Don't want to poison the poor girl. ]
She really was right, though. It tastes and looks amazing.
...He'll have to remember to thank her, later. Not with his own food. Don't want to poison the poor girl. ]
Yes, it is!
[ Almost strange how forceful that is. ]
...I started this whole thing. It's... It is my responsibility. Whatever comes outta this... That's on me.
[ Almost strange how forceful that is. ]
...I started this whole thing. It's... It is my responsibility. Whatever comes outta this... That's on me.
Edited 2019-11-08 01:38 (UTC)
[ For weeks, Alex has tried to hold it in. Since that first time he awoke and realized what was missing. But, now? He simply can't anymore. That gentle touch is all it takes for him to choke out a sob and sink to sit on the bed they're standing by. It means he can all but bury himself in Sayori's embrace. ]
[Yeah, okay! Maybe that stings a little bit!
But it's fine, because that compliment really hits home. Michael looks surprised for a moment, and then his countenance fairly melts.]
Oh...thank you. That really does mean a lot.
[He hesitates, before adding:]
I wasn't really sure if it would work for me. Given, you know - [He lays a hand on his chest.] - everything.
But it's fine, because that compliment really hits home. Michael looks surprised for a moment, and then his countenance fairly melts.]
Oh...thank you. That really does mean a lot.
[He hesitates, before adding:]
I wasn't really sure if it would work for me. Given, you know - [He lays a hand on his chest.] - everything.
'Cause I was the one to tip the scales. I took out my anger on 'im... I ignored all the really good signs why I should leave the guy the fuck alone. And then Will, 'nd Wash found out, and the fucker almost dies delirious in a jail cell.
'Cause I got myself killed.
'Cause I got myself killed.
Oh
Well
It's alright?
You have to make a contract with something to get your powers
That's why I'm sort of tethered to the Raven Queen
I assume if you consciously choose it, you get to choose what, but I didn't
It's not horrible?
At least over time it's gotten not horrible
What are you right now?
Well
It's alright?
You have to make a contract with something to get your powers
That's why I'm sort of tethered to the Raven Queen
I assume if you consciously choose it, you get to choose what, but I didn't
It's not horrible?
At least over time it's gotten not horrible
What are you right now?
What? No, we talked about this- I told you, what it looks like you care about most is the... Is your compassion, your friends. That makes you the best kind of person to be a paladin.
[ How could Michael not think...? Alex shakes his head, and then firmly continues: ]
Anyone'd be happy to have you, like...with that mental link. Me included.
[ How could Michael not think...? Alex shakes his head, and then firmly continues: ]
Anyone'd be happy to have you, like...with that mental link. Me included.
[ His teeth grind together for a few moments. ]
Mista, that's not fair.
Mista, that's not fair.
How the fuck is that not fair? How the fuck is that not fair, Alex? Get off the cross for five seconds and fucking listen to me right now.
Somebody whose only excuse for killing another person is to teach them a lesson just needed a goddamn excuse. You hit him? Hot shit. You know how many people every day in every world get hit for stupid reasons and don't commit murder?
Take this on your soul and I'll never fucking forgive you, Alex, I swear to you. You carry enough, you—
[—and he's yelling, he realizes. Fury bubbling under his skin. His voice goes flat.]
Killing someone, [he says, quietly,] doesn't just happen. It's a thing that's done. An action that's taken. Feel guilty about Ogata killing you and he's basically killed you twice.
Your choice, though.
Somebody whose only excuse for killing another person is to teach them a lesson just needed a goddamn excuse. You hit him? Hot shit. You know how many people every day in every world get hit for stupid reasons and don't commit murder?
Take this on your soul and I'll never fucking forgive you, Alex, I swear to you. You carry enough, you—
[—and he's yelling, he realizes. Fury bubbling under his skin. His voice goes flat.]
Killing someone, [he says, quietly,] doesn't just happen. It's a thing that's done. An action that's taken. Feel guilty about Ogata killing you and he's basically killed you twice.
Your choice, though.
It's a little hard to describe since honestly I never really liked it
If I could choose magic powers, I would've wanted something that I could use to heal others, not hurt them
Warlock's one of those where it seems most of the point is hurting others
The familiar's nice, though
Being able to create your own companion makes things a lot less lonely
If I could choose magic powers, I would've wanted something that I could use to heal others, not hurt them
Warlock's one of those where it seems most of the point is hurting others
The familiar's nice, though
Being able to create your own companion makes things a lot less lonely
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