rockymountaindie | ic inbox (balance)

[ The smile is a good thing. It hasn't turned up in years. No, wait, he hasn't even known Lion for a year, so it's months. How many- doesn't matter. ]

Yeah. I know. Lion's the same. Don't think I could've stuck with the... you know. In the voice mail. ...Without proof that people like that existed, I don't think I'd be like this.

[ Too bad it's in brackets. "But, more or less, he likes himself more this way." Same hat, buddy. ]

[ Glancing up, kind of...dropping his hands a little. ]

Well... I'm glad they do. For me, and...you too. Not to be weird or anything, but... I like this you. It's the only one I've known, but- still.

[ Of course he can say something like that about someone else out-loud but not himself but you know, he'll get there, he's getting there. ]

[ There's a downside for getting a bit too honest with friends. Alex gets one laugh, short and snapped, with all the negativity he usually feels himself. ]

'Least you do. Surprised it hasn't gotten me killed.

[ Forgot a word. Again.

But it's a crack in personality that gets smoothed over like it was never there. Alex doesn't deserve to get snapped at for things he's not responsible for. It's not even what he meant. ]

Sorry... Thank you. I-For the intent, I mean. I forget it sometimes. [ Often. ] ...Often.

[ Will's adorable. Alex has this knowledge and he wants to use it against him. Truly.

Except now it's his turn to get a little awkward, choking back his own snipped laugh. Gotten killed...huh.

Alex averts his eyes again. ]

Ye- no, s'okay. I like... I get it. Don't...don't worry 'bout it.

[ He can use his powers for evil via bracer serenading. Like a monster.

It's not a long lull in the conversation, but enough where anyone looking in from outside thinks it's awkward. It doesn't help both parties involved are nervous wrecks. But what's the options. He can't throw the same compliment in his face or he'll spiral off into depression again. Bringing Clear up out of nowhere would be too obvious a distraction. Even if his sense of time is fucked, old habits are not.

A hand is run down a mental list from the pamphlet of 'How to Maintain Casual Conversation with a Deployed Piece and Not Get Outed as Someone Who Shouldn't Be There and Also Who Shouldn't Exist'. Acquaintance Relation Section, Sub-Section 494 should work fine. ]

What have I missed? S'been about- a... [ A glance at the clock again. ] A week? Right?

Edited 2019-10-12 06:01 (UTC)

[ He can, and he certainly will. Just wait.

Alex grimaces at the question. Ohh, boy, that's... ]

Uh. Yeah, about that much. We've- mostly everyone's been...trying to find a way back to normal. Those...curses, seem to be wearing off, and...you know. A lot of in and out of this place.

[ Mild gesture around the med bay. ]

How many deaths.

[ It's still sad, but it's with the kind of blank, unquestioning acceptance of someone who's been keeping a running mental tally of how many people were Lost so far. ]

[ Alex hasn't caught wind of any others, so this is just the ones he knows. ]

Si- ...seven. [ He can just feel something laughing at him. He does the mental tally and adds himself, but- does that count? Does it? Still, he feels sick, thinking of it.

Just as you were meant to, but it's not the Raven Queen's voice in his ear, it's the mortician's, and he feels his skin go cold. ]

Seven.

[ A mental hand run across data, making sure nothing was Lost, but for the first time there is an error. The number is wrong. Three off. Only fair. He was out for everything after the cele

After. Just After. Move past it. ]

I know of Shinjiro, Farnese, Blake, and Eleanor. The others?

[ He's not meeting Will's gaze. ]

Crowley, and Ferran, and...

[ Reaches up a hand to massage the bridge of his nose. Well- ]

...Will, I... I really fucked up.

[ Two are named. Easy enough. But he cracks before answering the third. And Alex can watch the exact moment it becomes an answer. Shit.

There's no attempt to give out trite comments of 'are you okay' or 'hey glad you're alive'. Just sheer honesty. ] I am so sorry, Alex.

[ He winces at that. ]

Don't... I mean- it wasn't...in Wonderland. I got... It was here.

[

0x8001C227 Failed: simulation error: unable to locate protocol.
Revert to last known configuration. ]

What.

[ He's this far. No turning back. Alex doesn't look at Will, steadfast does not- ]

I was- it was out on the quad, Shinjiro and Minato, they found me and- no one saw who did it, but I-

[ Running a hand over his head. Over his head. One spot particular. Not even meaning to. ]

I shoulda been more careful. I was just- I was so angry and that guy was just fine and- and I fucked up. I didn't think he'd- I just didn't think.

[ It's half an explanation, half several explanations, but he can't string them all together in proper order. ]

[ The broken explanations don't matter. 'No one saw who did it, but I'. Any words before these two are useless. The rest after are stutters; broken half-words revolving around one core subject. Someone, here, harmed one under his dominion, and Alex knows who it is. Or at the very least has an idea.

No errors activate. How to tread this part was carried across. The voice eases back. All concern with no visible knives. ]

What did you do?

[ He remembers promising he'd be careful, and again he failed at that, didn't he? There's a fear in him, but- ]

I punched him. Twice. 'nd... I yelled at him. I can't be...completely sure, but- ...how many people 'round here have a gun?

[ The mistake here is Alex asked a question that someone who murders murderers would keep track of. ]

One shotgun, four rifles, two pistols, one sub-machine gun. Not counting newcomers I'm unaware of or anything from Branwen's ridiculous weapons course. [ Seriously. Who puts a shotgun on a scythe. What a moron. ] Of those I know of, only two would shoot someone your age. And you're not using 'she'.

[ Let it be known that, due to the rules of Balance, Natsuhi Fuckin' Ushiromiya is still wondering around base with a Winchester. ]

[ For a stark moment, Alex just stares at him. ]

It was a rhetorical fuckin’ question, Will, I’m pretty sure the only messed up fuck I’ve gotten on the bad side of is that guy Ogata.

[ well he was GOING to say it GENTLER, but here we are ]

[ Alex, you of all people cannot dunk him for having a perfect memory for stupid shit. But it's also valid because it's the same answer so many others here have thrown in his face for the same thing. But the answer gets that same Non-Will expression Alex has seen once. Ogata was told not to harm those close to him, and he killed Alex? He should have known better-

And the expression cracks. One hand is still strapped into place, by a wise Dr Tank a few days prior, but the metal one covers his mouth in the universal sign of someone trying not to lose their shit. He remembers the conversation, it was Literally Yesterday, Ogata wouldn't have known. ]

God damn everythi- I didn't- You died, right? As- actually lost something of yourself?

[ He's trying to read those expressions, read them good. (That's how you live, after all, you get good at reading things- oh jeez, his paranoid brain's starting up again.)

But the instant he asks, the very moment, Alex feels ice in his veins. His voice...it gets very soft. ]

Yeah. Yeah, I- 'm pretty sure I did.

[ He's not so heartless to ask what he lost. It's just taken as a truth without question. But that's even worse. It's his fault it even happened. Ogata's still a shitheel, but it wouldn't have been fatal had he known. Also because that type of self-destructive thought process makes infinitely more sense than just Ogata Is A Shitheel.

There's no obvious outward sign of this stupidity aside from how monotone the voice is. ]

I didn't give him the names of those off limits.

Off limits? What...? [ There's a fundamental disconnect in Alex's brain. For one, it sounds like the issue is more...who it was, than that it happened. That doesn't make sense, for Alex. The guy killing anyone is bad. That's how Alex views it. However, something overrides that, as he starts to put the pieces together. ] Does this have anything to do with the...arrangement he mentioned? I- when I...saw 'im, I- ...I was mad about your, you know...your leg, and- and a few other things, and he said something about that, but-

[ Slow down, Alex. Get your thoughts in order. That inner voice that sounds so much like Clear centers him. ]

What...happened, Will?

[ "An arrangement." Wonderful, excellent choice of words, perfect to let people who have no context run away with their own minds. It wasn't supposed to be like this. But all it took was one second of bad timing and everything else piles up one after the other. He didn't want to give out the details, but now... ]

...Arrangement makes it sound like m'getting blackmailed. More like... a game. I... Explaining the reasons wouldn't matter. [ It'd just send Alex into anxiety city, with the chance of him running his mouth to the wrong person and then everyone will get on his case. Not worth it. ] The core rule is we take turns. Non-fatal damage only. If I wasn't glass, the only thing that'd happen is I'd fall on my face and look like an idiot. But I had an additional condition in-

[ Uh.

Here, of all times, there's a glimpse of red on pale skin and he turns away to check the time. Obviously. ]

In exchange for my participation, those under my dominion are not to be harmed.

[ It's funny that Will's reasons for not explaining the reasons are concern for Alex's anxiety. Not understanding starts to send him to a point of nervous confusion, a game? A game, that involved getting shot? It's clear the more Will explains, the less Alex comprehends. It's written all over his face...until. ]

You- your...dominion...? What are you- [ Oh. Oh, well.

Alex too finds himself looking away. He's more amused, despite the horrific circumstances. ]

...You could just say your friends, Will.

[ There's a blank moment here where the equivalents are carried across. He just thinks it's friendship? But if that means he has to start making existing friends as part of his own aspect - the first face that pops into his mind is that one fucking smile Dlanor has when she was about to go off on a justice bender.

The laugh immediately devolves into a short coughing fit. At least it gets rid of the embarrassment of the subject. ] Lord, no. That- hell, I'd have to Michael as part of me by your standards.

[ Translation: It's A Dumb Angel Thing. But putting it like that is even dumber. So. ]

Look. I'm not a Guardian. Never had to hand out Oaths before. But... When I say you and souls like yours are the reason I exist? I mean that literally. To explain more is dangerous. Yo-for me, I mean. But you're the ones that resonate most with my Concept. It's... [ Ugh. Going into names and Concepts is risky. How do you word it without an explanation?

Both eyes close, a few moments of consideration, and the answer comes out with a Weight that can't be explained. ] If it is within my power, I will never let anything harm you. And should something succeed, an equivalent price shall be taken. It is not servitude. But as long as it is you who asks, I will answer any request.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject