[Well. Seems he was right to make that little addendum. That said, while he meant it, he hadn't really attached any sort of desire to it. A motive. Ridiculous, maybe, but he does plenty of things either just on impulse, or instinct, or simply because he was told to. So the suggestion that he's trying to understand simply because he wants to understand, it surprises him. Is that really right?
He tries to think of another reason. There's no strategic benefit to it. No one is ordering him to. He doesn't, as far as he's aware, get anything out of it. He thinks, briefly, about how impossible such a desire must be. He doesn't have the pieces to be like everyone else. He lacks some crucial component. Surely that rules out understanding as well.
But then, of course, he always knew, really, that he could never have the father he wanted. But that didn't make the desire go away.]
... Maybe so. But wanting something doesn't matter in the long run. I don't want to be like this but that isn't going to change what I am. [He thinks this is a valid dismissal. Because he's stupid.]
no subject
He tries to think of another reason. There's no strategic benefit to it. No one is ordering him to. He doesn't, as far as he's aware, get anything out of it. He thinks, briefly, about how impossible such a desire must be. He doesn't have the pieces to be like everyone else. He lacks some crucial component. Surely that rules out understanding as well.
But then, of course, he always knew, really, that he could never have the father he wanted. But that didn't make the desire go away.]
... Maybe so. But wanting something doesn't matter in the long run. I don't want to be like this but that isn't going to change what I am.
[He thinks this is a valid dismissal. Because he's stupid.]